Invitation to a Miracle

Dear Friend,

I may not know you. It is possible that we have never met. But you’ve been reading this story. Captivated by it and drawn in for some reason. I’m real about my fears and my faith. And they sometimes collide.

You watched us pray for a miracle. You might have doubted. So did I.

In the same day I prayed for miracles and read words of hope and life over my son, I also planned his funeral in my head.

You listened to me talk about God’s love and it intrigued you. Maybe even confused you.

You’re not sure God is real. Or maybe you think perhaps He is out there, but you don’t have time for Him; and you’re certain He doesn’t have time for you.

You’ve walked through too much pain. Seen too much injustice. You’ve be alone. And you question where He could possibly be in the middle of it all. And even if He is there, you feel too messed up to find Him. Like you’ve made too many mistakes for Him to even look at you.

Deep down you kind of want to believe, but you’re afraid of what believing might look like.

We all long for a Savior. A Rescuer. A Deliverer. All of creation cries out to be rescued. Look at the stories and the movies that have captivate our attention for years and years. We want to believe. We want to believe there is a “Superman” defending the weak, rescuing the downtrodden. We want to believe that there is a “Gandalf”, ready to lead us and bring peace. We want to believe that Jean Valjean will find us in the gutter, sweep us up into his arms and carry us to safety, nurse us back to health. Love us as his very own.

We want to believe there is a Savior.

I found Him. He is real.

He defends me. He has recused me. He leads me. He brings peace to my storm. He swept me out of the gutter and nursed me back to health. He calls me His own.

I’m not religious, if religion means following a set of rules or adhering to a list of principals so that I will somehow allowed into heaven.

I’m not good enough.

None of us are.

But I have found love.

I hold fast to my relationship with Jesus Christ. It’s about love and friendship. He points me to the Father. A God who loves and forgives, who teaches and leads. His Spirit instructs me, whispers to my heart, heals me.

He is available.

Reachable.

Touchable.

The miracle of Mattie is one miracle. A big one to me. But ultimately it is just one.

There is a God who breathed and spoke and life came out of his Words.

He said that it was good.

A miracle.

He is a big God, a laughing, loving, full of life God.

He created so He would have someone to love. Someone who would love Him back.

A miracle.

Sin entered the world. Mankind chooses to sin day after day. We make horrible choices. We hurt each other.

But He made a way for us to be reconciled, forgiven, set free.

He sent His Son, who lived and walked among us. It wasn’t an easy life, but He chose to come into it so that He might fully know us, understand our struggles, feel our pain. He was despised, rejected, scorned. Even those who chose to love Him, doubted Him from time to time, denied Him even when they knew the truth.

And He died. It is not a fairy tale. It was real. You know you want to believe it was real.

That a man would throw His life away for yours.

Pay the price for you. To set you free.

I didn’t deserve it. Neither do you.

It is such an extravagant gift that there is simply nothing we could ever do to earn it.

He planned it that way.

It’s an invitation to a miracle.

And simply stated, He just wants you to say “Yes” to the miracle.

Believing that He is love, and that He sent His Son to reflect that love and give you life (John 3:16)

Admitting that you need His love, and that sin is separating you from Him. (Romans 3:23)

Accepting that a redemptive act of mercy, an ultimate sacrifice had to be made so that you could step into freedom. The death of His son. (Romans 5:8)

Opening your heart, saying “Yes”, and letting Him in. (Romans 10:13)

A miracle.

All you have to do is ask.

Father, I believe that you love me and that you sent your Son to give me life. I need you so desperately. I hate being alone. Please forgive me and make me new. I open my heart and ask you to come in. Thank you for giving Your Son’s life so that I could become Your child. Lead me, teach me, heal me. Amen

 

If you prayed this prayer, I would love to know about it so that I can pray for you. Please email us at mattiebreathes@gmail.com.

 

 

Everyday Miracles

I believe the miraculous weaves a thread of beauty in our lives every day.

Sometimes we are blind to see it, fail to drink it in, forget to acknowledge its presence.

You breathe, air fills your lung, oxygen nourishes your blood, your heart beats. You are a miracle.

The seasons shift in and out of beauty and paint pictures of divinity before our eyes. All of creation cries out, “Miracle!”

A seed is planted and life begins. A womb sustains a tiny growing human, life connected to life. Life emerges out of darkness, and a cry is heard. A miracle every time.

Everyday, miracles surround us, engulf us in their beauty.

The miracle Maker- He speaks to us through miracles declaring that He is ever present, full of love.

As I sit and watch my miracle breathe and heal, I marvel.

Write this down, it was a miracle. You watched a miracle take place.

And had he not lived, he would be still, every bit of him, a miracle.

Every curl on his head, the way his forehead swoops down to the gentle curve of his button nose. His grin, his sly wink, the furrow of his brow when he frowns. His kindness, his charm, his love. The scars on his body that tell a story of strength and grace. His joy, his determination, his passion.

Every ounce of him, a miracle.

Rejoice!

And look around today. Drink in the miracles all around you. In the midst of pain, sorrow, doubt and fear, find a miracle and soak it in.

I dare you.

Good Dad

He’s a good dad. This man of mine. He’s a good dad.

We are blessed.

You hear a lot from me, life from my perspective. But this life I write about happens largely because this man is a good man. The best.

I don’t do what I do single handedly. Not even close.

I do it with him.

He loves us, protects us, defends us. He fights for our hearts. He makes sure I rest. He makes sure I don’t implode. He is my friend. He knows me. He sees me and he understands.

He fathers well. He is our biggest fan.

And this boy. Well, he adores him. From the moment he laid eyes in him, he was a goner. Smitten.

You heard a lot from me this week, but the reason I could even speak, was this man.

This one who loves us all.

Happy Father’s Day, John.

You are my hero.

Moment by Moment Miraculous

God always speaks to me through the natural. Maybe it’s because I have a father who often taught spiritual truths using natural illustrations. I’ve learned to keep my ears and my eyes open to what He has to say. I’ve been doing a lot of sitting. Listening. Thinking. Watching.

I don’t know what you’re going through today. Your pain may be deep, but He is there. Maybe like Mattie, you feel like you can barely lift you head, like your heart has been put through the wringer, like its been hard to breathe, like the weight of life is pressing in. Today, the Lord wants you to know that He is near. That He is drawing close to you, and whispering life into your ear. He believes in you. He is fighting for you. As I lay my head down next to Mattie’s with one hand on his head, the other holding his hand, whispering, “Momma’s here. It’s ok!”, the Lord wants you to know He is there for you, at your side, His hand on your head, whispering, “I’m here. It’s going to be ok.”

You may feel you will never rise up out of it. I tell you, you will.

Because He is faithful. And He is love.

Today Mattie rose up out of an 8 day slumber, and he signed “Momma”. In the midst of pain, he heard my voice. And he called out to me.

I urge you, listen, He is there speaking. Call out His name. He is real and He is love.

Today we rejoiced with all the gladness in our hearts. Our son, our beautiful son, heard us, looked into our eyes, and saw love staring back at him.

The journey is not over. He continues to need healing and restoration. Sometimes the miraculous is moment by moment. Sometimes rising from the grave takes 8 days. Sometimes He asks us to trust and look into His eyes and let the slow work of the miraculous take place.

We continue to contend for fullness of life for Mattie. He is so worth it.

And so are you.

Call out His name. Look into His eyes.

He is there.

He is love.

Wake up, Sleepy Bear

It’s official, we’ve turned that corner. Mattie was stable all night on the hospital ventilator. They are stopping the paralytic, so we will see what my sleepy little bear is like as he starts waking up a little from sedation (he is still on pain meds). His chest X-ray continues to show improvement. He continues to be shedding excess fluid. His heart rhythms have been stable. Over all, we are just thrilled with our miracle!!!! (Please do NOT cease praying!!! Pray for complete healing of Mattie’s lungs and NO secondary infections to come up. Pray for his immune system to be strengthened. Protection and totally healing!!!)

It’s hard to believe that he’s been “asleep” for 8 days now. The plan today is to keep him comfortable, but still allow him to come off the paralytic. My little bear can get kind of grouchy with this wake up process. My plan it to read to him a lot today and to continue to keep the worship music playing 24/7.

We are believing for this miracle to be BIGGER than, “Mattie beat this one”. We are contending for fullness! Complete complete complete healing!

You make all things new!

“And the one sitting on the throne said, ‘Look, I am making everything new!’ And then he said to me, ‘Write this down, for what I tell you is trustworthy and true.’ ” Rev. 21:5

On earth as it is in heaven.

He is Listening

This day deserves another update.

I have prayed, whispered, and pleaded these words over my son, “On earth as it is in heaven.”

“Do what is best- just like you do in heaven. And please do it down here, too.”

I asked God if this could be the “we have turned the corner day”.

No one has said it yet, but I think I am watching it.

I think this is the day.

Today Mattie is peeing without a catheter, peeing a lot! Today the swelling is dissipating. Today Mattie was switched from the oscillator to the hospital ventilator. Today his heart rhythms and oxygen saturation were stable. Today he is warm and his color looks better.

Today hope is rising up in my heart.

I WILL see the goodness of The Lord in the land of the living.

He who promised IS FAITHFUL!

And to top it all off, Aiden got to see Mattie today.

That my friends, is a beautiful day. These two are two peas in a pod. Best buds.

Aiden touched and kissed, and spoke kindness and prayed.

God was watching. He was listening.

He is listening to us all.

Pray for stability tonight. Totally healing! Complete restoration of Mattie’s lungs.

Holding Him in His Blankie

Mattie had a stable night and the swelling in his face is slowly going down, his abdomen is still very puffy, but he is negative in his fluid balance (meaning he is peeing more off than he is taking in, which in this case is what we want). They will take out his catheter today and see if he does ok peeing on his own, they are turning off the epinephrine….and we will be trying him off of the oscillator and back on the hospital vent(Servo) today. Please pray this all goes smoothly and that he tolerates the changes.

The nurse yesterday made him a bow tie.

For years I have declared over Mattie, “He who promised is faithful.”

This morning I woke to an encouraging message in my inbox from a praying friend.

She said,

This morning in my quiet time I was reminded of this verse
Matthew 18:10 “Take heed that you do not despise one of these little ones, for I say to you that in heaven their angels always see the face of My Father who is in heaven.”

Encouraging to realize Mattie’s angel(s) are beholding the face of God when they receive their command/instruction regarding precious Mattie.

I felt I was to give you the following verses this morning. We’re continuing to pray for you & your precious family. To hold your arms up when you are tired…

The Lord bless you & keep you.

Hebrews 10:23 Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful.

Psalm 138:8 The Lord will perfect that which concerns me;Your mercy, O Lord, endures forever;Do not forsake the works of Your hands.

Last, one of the first things I sensed & saw this morning was a great cloud over Mattie with many gentle whispers coming from it & saying without pause, “rise up Mattie, rise up…”

Last night was extra hard. I sat here wishing with all my heart that I could just hold him. It has been a week of not holding him in my arms. It hurts.

Another friend messaged me this:

Hi Tracie. We continue to pray for Mattie and your family. My 6 yr old daughter came up to me as I was checking in on the status of Mattie. She could tell that I was very sad. She asked how Mattie was doing. She also asked me if we could pray together for Mattie and your family. She told me “Momma, they must be very sad because he is so sick, but we know that God is with Mattie holding him in his blankie”… Hugs and love to your family and Mattie.

There are so many times, when your words of encouragement, texts, and comments have been exactly what I needed to hear. I am so grateful that you are praying, lifting our arms, and believing with us.

Sometimes I just need to be reminded that his Father is holding him in his blankie.