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Capture Your Grief- Week One

I decided to participate in a photography challenge called Capture Your Grief, you can read about it HERE. I’ll be sharing my posts for the week, at the end of each week. 

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Day 1 “Sunrise”

My morning coffee and the warmth of the sun’s rays on my face reminding me that mercy and hope come each morning with fresh beauty.

If I allow my heart to listen and see and feel, my son is present in moments like these. So I sit, absorbing his joy into my spirit, finding his smile in these radiant beams.

#captureyourgrief #whathealsyou #findinghappiness#griefisajourney #childloss

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Day 2 “Intention”

Dear Son,
I will forever ache because of the absence of your beautiful and perfect body in my arms, but I promised you I would keep on living.

Choosing to live, choosing to discover you in the beautiful and perfect moments of life. This is my intention.

I choose to allow my life to be the container that carries your spirit. I choose to see your beauty in every stroke of my paintbrush, I choose to see your smile in every beaming sunrise, I choose to feel your peace and grace in my moments of solitude. I choose to feel your strength in every personal struggle that I face. I choose to love others with unabashed love and acceptance. I choose to become one whose very nature brings peace to others.

It is my Intention to rise out of the ashes more beautiful, more loving, more kind, more at peace.

This is my Intention.

#captureyourgrief #intention #childloss#findinghappiness #griefisajourney

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Day 3 “In Honour”

On October 20, 2010 Matthias Samuel Loux entered this world. For the next 3 years, 10 months and 1 day, he filled the world with love and joy and peace.

Mattie loved music, books, and Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. But most of all he loved people. He loved people well. His mission was clearly to come and dump massive amounts of love on everyone he would meet.

This chair sits in our living room in honour of him. It appears empty to the untrained eye, but this little chair is full. Full of life and love and joy and beauty.

This chair reminds me daily to carry on Mattie’s life mission. This chair reminds me to sit in stillness and absorb love so that I can be a true carrier of love and dump it out on others just like my son did so well.

#captureyourgrief #whathealsyou #mattiesmom#childloss #griefisajourney

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Day 4 “Dark + Light”

This photo was taken a year ago today. Mattie had died 6 weeks before. I remember asking my son to take a shot of us on this old boat at a salvage barn where we were exploring. I also remember being frustrated that the lighting was bad, knowing our faces would be in shadow. I remember saying, “Take it anyway, I like this boat.”

What I didn’t see until today was how significant this image is and how clearly this captures our journey.

Our voyage on this vessel called “Grief” has taken us many places. We have visited the deep Dark islands of Sadness, Anger, Despair, and Hopelessness. We’ve cowered in the Cove of Anxiety.

But Light, it was there all along, it surround us and followed us. It chased us down. Because, after all, there is no Darkness without Light.

And now as the darkest of Dark makes way for Light, and brings with it Hope, and Peace, and Joy, we sail on. We continue the journey. Yes, we still grief, but the Dark gives way to Light, allowing Light to lead the way.

#captureyourgrief #whathealsyou #griefisajourney#childloss #findinghappiness

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