Child Loss · Friendship · Grief

Don’t Look Away

Dear Friend,

I know it’s hard to see someone you love hurting like this.

I know that you’ve tried to imagine “what if” this had happened to you, but you stop yourself because who wants to play a nightmare around in their brain. It’s to hard to go there. I don’t want you to imagine this hell, really I don’t.

But if you look away from my pain, you might miss out on a lesson in love that could change your life.

I know you scroll through your Facebook feed and look for funny videos, good recipes, pictures of your newborn niece, an interesting blog on politics perhaps, or maybe just some good fashioned Hollywood drama. I know you want something to make you smile or laugh. Maybe you just need a few minutes to forget your own reality.

So you scroll, and without asking for it, BAM, there’s one of my updates, and it’s not always happy.

It makes you catch your breath, wince. And if you really know me and love me deeply, it makes your chest hurt too.

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You want to fix it and you can’t.

Maybe you wish I would be more private.

Maybe my pain reminds you of your pain and it’s just too much.

Maybe my pain makes you fear for the “what could be’s” in your own life.

Maybe you hid me from your newsfeed. Heck, maybe you unfriended me, I don’t know.

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I don’t want you to look away.

Not because I want sympathy or pity.

Not because I want you to make it better. Trust me, you can’t.

I want you to look because I want you to know that Love Matters.

Loving deeply has cost us.

And someday, I assume loving deeply will cost you as well.

I want you to know that when that happens, you are not alone.

I want you to know that feeling loss is as important as feeling love.

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I also want those beautiful souls who have crossed my path on this journey called grief to know that they are not alone.

Because being alone in this kind of pain should never be.

I’ve lived out loud on this blog for quite sometime. Someone once asked me when I decided to be so public about my life journey. I don’t really know honestly, it just happened. It’s not about me though, it’s about LOVE. If my story tells you that LOVE MATTERS, then at the end of the day, that is all that matters.

Don’t worry about having the right words. There are so many choices. And mostly, you can’t get it wrong. I’d be lying if I said that people’s words have never hurt, but honestly I set that aside pretty quickly and hold on to the ones that blow a breath of love across my heart.

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See? It’s not that hard.

Thank you to all of you who have chosen not to look away, even when it’s hard.

Love Matters.


One thought on “Don’t Look Away

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