Child Loss · chris mcclarney · dave fitzgerald · Defender · Grief · Your Love Never Fails

His Kindness Reaches In

I haven’t been able to listen to what some might label “worship music” for many months now- since the funeral actually. I know many of you have sent me links and videos to encourage me and I’ve “liked” them or thanked you; but truth be told, I haven’t been able to click and listen to any of them. It was just too hard for me.

But today for the first time in ages, John put an album on in the car and said, “It’s time to listen to this.” And in moments, I heart the familiar sound that has been my lifeline for several years now. Songs that held me up during my weakest moments in our journey with Mattie. As this song poured through the speakers of our truck today, my heart was able to rest.

Resting in Your promise
I will rest within the knowledge that You care
I put my trust in You

Deep within the darkness
Through my enemies surround I will not fear
I put my trust in You

And when I don’t know what to do
I will fix my eyes on You

You’re my defender
I hide my hope in You
You are the loving arms my broken heart can run to

I will remember that there is nothing You can’t do
For You are God, You are good
And I surrender, You’re my defender

You are strong when I am weakest
You’re the peace that passes everything I see
I put my trust in You

I’m surrendering completely
Laying all my cares here at Your feet
I put my trust in You

A mighty fortress is our God
I will not fear, I will not fear
Safe and secure here in Your love
I will not fear, I will not fear

– Chris McClarney
(listen HERE)

I took a deep breathe of hope and remembered countless times this album had played at the foot of my son’s bed through very dark times.

Times when I was too weak to pray, this song was my prayer.

And then this song came on, co-written by my husband John, his best friend Dave Fitzgerald and Chris McClarney

You won’t back down
Your name is faithful
You never fail
You are able to complete
All You began in me

I cannot hide
You know me better than I know myself
You cannot lie, You know my shame
Still, you call me beautiful

Only You can open my eyes
Through every failure, through every lie
It’s your kindness, Lord
That leads me to the truth

You’re still saving me
When I lose my way in the night
All my fears are lost in Your light

It’s Your kindness Lord
That brings me back to You
You’re still saving me

In You, in You, I delight in You
I lift my eyes to You
In my help it comes from You
(Listen HERE, this version on our Dave Fitzgerald’s album, Hope of Heaven)

His kindness has reached into our hearts these past several days.

He has never failed, even in the depths of the darkness, He has been present.

If you need something to hold on to, something to speak these truths into your own heart, I encourage you to get this album DEFENDER, it has been my lifeline for 5 years.


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