Child Loss · faith · Grief · prayer

Skinned Knees

8412431962_07c2d3718f_c.jpgA question was posed for discussion online recently about prayer, it ended with “….Is He incapable of moving with out man’s prayers?”

I know that we have been given prayer as a gift, a way to communicate with God, but I’ve learned a lot about prayer over the years.

And my views have shifted as I have learned to view God as “Father”.

What I do know is that God’s love for me and His ability to intervene in my life, to lead and guide, to help and care for me, is NOT dependent on the length of time I am able to devote to prayer, how spiritual my prayers are, or if I even have a clue what to say to Him. I have had seasons where prayer was active and alive in my life, where I was able to devote large chunks of time to prayer; and I have had seasons where my prayers are more like a breath or a groan, occasionally a “Help, God.”

He is a Father and He loves like a Father. He moves in our lives like a Father.

If one of my children trips at the playground and falls, followed by tears and that familiar grasp of the knee, I don’t sit by and wait for them to come to me. I don’t sit there for 5 minutes to see if they will cry out for me an appropriate amount of time before I respond. I leap up at the first cry. I leap up at the first sign of a fall.

It’s simple. That’s what any mother or father would do.

I’ve tripped and fallen, my knees are battered and bruised. They are bleeding and I am in pain.

Many of you have fallen in your own way. Many of you are hurting and in pain.

Guess what? We have a Father who comes running right away.

The minute we utter the first groan, the minute He sees our body hit the pavement.

Today God is not waiting for me to get up out of the dirt and drag my hurting self to Him.

He has come down into the dirt with me.

He is not asking me to talk, He is just here.

He is not waiting for me to explain to Him how much I need Him to rescue me, carry me, hold on tight to me.

He is just there, being a Father.

This healing isn’t going to be a quick one. I’m bleeding still.

I know He is there, even though it’s kind of quiet.

He lets me yell at him and tell Him the pain is too much.

He is familiar with my pain.

I know God loves to hear from us, loves to have us express our hearts and ask Him questions. But as a parent (and since He is a Father), I also know that sometimes children don’t have words. Sometimes children just need us to be there.

Sometimes this child just needs her Father to be present in the pain.

Grief can’t be fixed. Grief must be felt.

So here I am with my skinned knees.

And He is here.

 

Photo credit: Rumalowa via Visualhunt.com / CC BY-ND

6 thoughts on “Skinned Knees

  1. Just read the blog, i can relate and feel your and john’s heart through this.

    I have been revisiting how I relate to God, I used to feel or believe I was created to be a worshipper or ….

    So let’s set this straight. I have turned or decided to use the lens of a family. Did I have my children to be worshippers of me? Kinda awkward. Or how about servants? Well maybe if I’m Amish and need laborers, but I’m not. I had children because I wanted family, I wanted mini-me’s to love and hang out with and just freaking watch grow and mature. I want to simply relate to my kids. I loved your blog because it fits with my idea of family. You are right! I do not sit back and wait for them to sing 4 choruses or ask me to step in and intervene on their behalf. Shoot, I’m probably considered to be the over-reacting dad stepping in to early or unwanted like cuz I want to protect or not see them go through un-needed pain. I will gladly get down in the dirt to hold my 7 or 21 year old when they have hurt themselves or been hurt.

    Well I may be rambling but hopefully you get what I’m laying down…

  2. Once again, Tracie, thank you for sharing your gift of insight and the words to express it. As always, they are so very helpful… useful for the building up of the Body in love. (I can’t find the words to clearly express what I want to say, but it comes from how I see you living out Eph 4:15-16) I will be taking a copy to share with the women in my Bible study group, many of whom are going through difficult times of their own and who I know will be blessed by your thoughts. Thank you.

  3. I’ve really been struggling with this lately. My husband recently was gone for 2 months, leaving me with 3 little ones on a foreign continent. It was Christmas, hence a huge load of guilt on me for not giving my kids the family-filled Christmases they long for. And so many other things like my oldest’s behavior combined to just make me want to have never been born.

    So many nights I spent sobbing, “God, please, just let me feel your presence, that’s all I want, I’m hurting here and want to die, please, just let me feel you.” And absolutely nothing. And so many Christians told me, “He’s waiting to see if you’ll trust, He’s using this time to grow you.” I thought, what kind of a sick parent watches their kid wail in agony and doesn’t even touch their hand and say, “It’s okay, Mommy (or Daddy) is here”?

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