Child Loss · Grief · Nicholas Loux · Sibling Loss

“The Castle and the Crane” guest post by Nicholas Dean Loux

Today was our trip to Magic Kingdom and though my words are still stuck in my head, my son, Nick, shared this today.


“I haven’t written much about my little brother Mattie, and I haven’t cried about his death for months. But  today, as I’m greeted by a parade of smiling, dancing Disney characters, and a chorus about dreams coming true, I feel a familiar pressure rise underneath my eyelids. The kindness of Mickey Mouse, Goofy’s playfulness, Stitch’s mischievousness, and the quirky gurgle of Donald Duck’s voice rush together and spark memories. Each unique characteristic sculpts a transparent image of my little brother.

I bare down and tell myself “Don’t cry, you’re at the ‘Happiest Place on Earth’.” The character filled caravan passes, and I see in the distance the ever majestic castle with an unfamiliar addition. A construction crane juts out behind the beautiful spires. At first it’s just an eye sore. Then it becomes a perfect representation of how this day feels; a beautiful and fanciful sight, juxtaposed with the reality that all is not right in our magic kingdom.

But I embrace the beautiful things with broken ones and I ride “Thunder Mountain”, eat over-priced food, see faces I’ve only seen on television come to life, and I believe that, even if all my dreams don’t come true, I have a guarantee that I’m gonna see my brother, Mattie, one day in the most magical kingdom of all.”


2 thoughts on ““The Castle and the Crane” guest post by Nicholas Dean Loux

  1. What a heartfelt post–and so very true that one day, your family and all who have accepted Christ and love Mattie, will meet him in the most magical kingdom of all! Thinking of you all and sending prayers!

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