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Grace and Grief

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There is nothing shallow about the human emotion called grief. It is deep, so very deep and raw at the core.

It is almost impossible to bear, but necessary to bear all the same time; because at the same depth where grief resides, love also resides, as equal and as fierce.

My grief is so intense, because my love was so fierce.

Sometimes it lays across my shoulders like a light blanket, gently there yet ever present.

Sometimes it crashes in and consumes me, like a tidal wave, where it takes my breath and crushes my body under its weight.

And then grace comes in, just a freely as the grief.

It carries me. Comforts me.

Allows me to smile for a moment.

Grace allows me to remember my son without the pain consuming my heart.

Grace allows me to embrace my seven other children in their pain, to wrap my arms around my sobbing husband.

Grace allows me to wake up and make my bed. To put food in my mouth.

Grace allows me to turn my face to the One who knows me and shelters me under the shadow of His wing.

 

4 thoughts on “Grace and Grief

  1. You and your family are such beautiful people who love deeply and grieve just as deep. I hope that when you feel that blanket of comfort you know that it is all of us wrapping ourselves around you, comforting you, praying with and for you.

  2. Dear Traci and John,
    I have not commented about Mattie’s passing, on facebook or here on your blog. It is so very difficult to know what to say. But, I have wept. And, Prayed…over and over and over, for Peace for your hearts. For Strength to help you through every second of the day and at night. I have lifted your children in prayer, as well. I cannot tell you how very sorry for the absence of Mattie’s physical body in your home. And, then I think, “Why am I so sad? He is with Jesus!” I certainly do not understand the pain that comes with the death of a loved one. I have struggled with many questions and some anger, as well. I always come back to the FACT that Mattie is in the Presence of The Almighty, apparently sitting right there on the Lap of Jesus!

    I believe that Mattie was not just a 3 year old boy. On the day that I read of his death, I had this overwhelming feeling that Mattie had lived many more years than the 3 years he had here on Earth. Mattie impacted my life and the lives of so many others, in a way that a wise, elderly person does. Kind of like Billy Graham…or Mother Teresa. His life story showed me things that seem unusual for such a tiny boy! And, not only did Mattie teach me about Faith and how God Loves us so dearly, but all of YOU, his family, have caused me to draw nearer to the foot of the Cross. Each one of you is such a Blessing to me and all of you represent and live out what it means to Follow Jesus.

    Please, know that I will continue to lift you all in prayer.
    I Love You,
    Jo Moseley

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