Juggling life in the midst of trauma is not easy. We have learned over the past 2 1/2 years of countless days in and out of the hospital that we have to care for our marriage and our children.
We have to protect us.
It is no easy task.
The first few nights we didn’t leave Mattie’s side for a moment. We slept there. His life was hanging in the balance. It was terrifying. And we are so blessed that our 4 oldest children stepped up to the plate without giving it a thought, and that friends immediately took care of our basic needs, food, child care help.
We had to turn all of our attention to one little lamb.
And as he slowly improved we regrouped. This is not our first rodeo.
All of our kids needed us.
We needed each other.
When things felt safer, John slept at home at night and was there in the mornings for the kids. We overlapped our hospital time so that John and I had lunch together every day to connect. John stayed, and I left for a few hours each afternoon to greet the kids after summer school, feed them dinner and, tuck them in bed.
John returned home and I returned to Mattie. I slept at the hospital the first 9 days.
These little ones need constancy. They need to feel safe. They get scared when Mattie is in the hospital. They miss him. They miss us being all together.
As things continue to improve, I am now able to sleep at home. We are able to step away from Mattie for a few hours and have dinner together with the kids as many nights as possible.
We make room for play and fun.
They need to get out. Be kids.
Even the big ones.
There are lots of really awesome hearts that need care. And we work hard not to neglect any of them.
They don’t get tired.
But we do!!
My awesome husband has kept this house running like a champ. We are a good team. But neither of us stop from morning until late at night, making sure life happens the way we want it to happen for our family right now. It is utterly exhausting.
We make have to make time to talk. To listen to each other. To be in the same room for more than 5 minutes.
Mattie needs a happy, healthy family to come home too. He needs a Momma and Daddy who are loving each other well.
He deserves that.