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Why I Give a Boatload of Money to Adoption – Guest Post (part 4)

I’m happy to add another post to this series, written by my dear friend Dorean (wife of Brian from Guest Post part 2). 

Why do I give (financially and otherwise) to help other people adopt?

There are many reasons I could give, but at the root of them all is just one thing.

I do it for the children.

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I do it for the little girl whose birth mother made the painful last minute decision to place the baby for adoption. Imagine being this little girl’s parents getting a call saying, “We have a mother in labor right now. If no one comes to adopt her before the mother is discharged after giving birth, she will be placed into foster care.” To fully understand this you need to know that because of her race, and the policies of the state where she was born, she stood a strong chance of spending at least the first couple years of her life in foster care.

I do it for the young boy in a crippled body who spent the first 10-11 years of his life in an orphanage. He’s been home about two years, I believe. He is just now is beginning to talk about what his life was like in his country of birth. He recently shared of the horrors of hearing the door lock behind him after being placed in a room with other boys, with no toys, books, etc. He spoke of hearing the door unlock, opening slightly, bread being thrown into the room, and hearing the dreaded sound of the lock again. In his words, “The bread was old and didn’t taste very good, but it was something to do.” With no one to love him and get him medical treatment and physical therapy, he was unable to walk. Today he has parents, siblings, an education, and is walking and running with the best of them.

I do it for the little girl who started her life in an orphanage because her birth mother drank alcohol while pregnant, causing this little one to be born with developmental difficulties. Had she not been adopted by age 4 she would have been transferred to a mental institution where she would have spent the rest of her life without love and without hope. Instead she is in a family, surrounded by love, learning to love and to trust.

I do it for the little boy who, at the age of five, was developmentally and growth-wise identical to a newborn baby. Within months of being adopted out of the orphanage he was growing at a remarkable rate and had begun to be mobile. He is now is a rambunctious little guy you have to work hard to keep up with.

I do it for the children in foster care, with no permanent home or family. Many counties in the US have rules moving children to a new foster home every 18-24 months to make sure they don’t get too bonded with their foster families, with the idea that it would be traumatic for them if they got adopted and lost the only family they ever knew. Stop and think about that: the goal is to keep them moving enough they don’t get too attached. Is that what any parent would choose for their child?

I do it for the children in Haiti, living in orphanages, tent cities, or on the streets, with no hope for a better life. I do it for the little girls in China, cast aside because girls are not desirable due to political issues in that country. I do it for the girls in Southeast Asia whose destinies are to become victims of human trafficking before they even reach puberty.

Why do I give to help other families adopt? I do it for the children.

-Dorean Beattie

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3 thoughts on “Why I Give a Boatload of Money to Adoption – Guest Post (part 4)

  1. OK really…….crying…..with JOY because I was that first paragraph! That was US!!! That is the story of our baby girl Joanna!!!!!!!!

    I LOVE DOREAN AND BRIAN as a part of our family!!!!! THEY ARE MORE THAN AMAZING!!!!! Their hearts for the children are beyond words!!!!!!!!

    Her gifts that she continually uses for others!!! It is the face of Jesus!!!

    🙂 LOADS OF LOVE!!!!

  2. “I do it for the children in foster care, with no permanent home or family. Many counties in the US have rules moving children to a new foster home every 18-24 months to make sure they don’t get too bonded with their foster families, with the idea that it would be traumatic for them if they got adopted and lost the only family they ever knew. Stop and think about that: the goal is to keep them moving enough they don’t get too attached. Is that what any parent would choose for their child?”

    And then what happens is all the moving around damages the child and they don’t end up being adopted. Why not just let the child stay with the foster family and let the foster family adopt them. That’s what happens where I live. It sounds like the adoption policies in these cases seem to be doing more harm than good.

    Of course, prevention is better than cure. The most successful programs are actually those that use the Homebuilding programs, designed to help families in need.

  3. There are MANY adoption policies in our foster care system that do more harm than good! And yes the moving and moving damages so deeply. I’ve seen it first hand. I wish the “system” not broken, but it is.

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