He created the heavens and the earth with His words, and we are made in His image. Is it any wonder that our words have so much power? Proverbs 18:21 tells us that “death and life are in the power of the tongue.”
You’ve seen it in the face of your child, when you’ve blown it with your words. You’ve felt it in your own heart when words of rejection literally take your breath away.
You’ve also seen the life that rushes into the countenance of a child who has been told they are amazing, talented, beautiful, worth it.
You’ve felt the impact on your heart when you’ve had a phone call, a text, or an email from a friend sending words of hope your way.
“A wholesome tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.” Proverbs 15:14
Studies show that for every negative word spoke, we require twice as many positive words to heal. Some studies even show that in marriage the ratio is more like 5:1.
Today I read an article on the trauma that children who are adopted face, even when they are adopted from birth. I get it, but this article kind of fell flat for me. It talked only about pain and trauma, and left no hope or suggestions for healing. Really? I’m so grateful that I don’t life my life with that kind of hopelessness.
I’m so glad that Jesus made a plan for each of us to be healed and set free. I’m so glad for the power of His love in my life and in the lives of my children.
I didn’t walk into adoption blindly. Trust me! I know about woundedness. I know about pain.
But I know about love too!
From the moment we knew about each of our children, we began to pray. We prayed over our children who were being carried in another mother’s womb from the time we knew we would adopt.We prayed life and hope and protection over them.
We prayed over our children in Ukraine the moment we began to prepare for their adoptions. We prayed life and hope and protection over them. (We later learned that another precious family had committed to pray for Aiden months before we even knew he existed. They prayed daily for him to find a family and for that family to find him.)
Our children were covered in prayer from the moment we dreamed of their journey into our family. I cannot emphasize how valuable this is. Whether you are praying for your pre-born child or a child you are waiting to welcome home who is already born, your prayers make a HUGE difference.
As you welcome your a child into your family through adoption, there are some powerful things that you can do to assure that their hearts begin the journey of healing early on. Your words have power. Speak words of life, read scripture, and sing scripture songs over your child. As you do this, you are literally breathing life and healing over your child’s mind and emotions. I am confident of this. I have seen it work. When we welcomed Elia, we immediately had worship music playing beside her bed 24/7 in the hospital (she was in the NICU). We read scripture over her, inserting her name into life-giving passages, we prayed over her. We held her, we spoke truth to her. “We have always loved you. Always wanted you. You are so beautiful. God has a plan for your life.” We did the same with Mattie.
THIS IS HOW WE COUNTERACT REJECTION. This is how wounded hearts are healed. I have seen the power of this over and over in our own children.
We continue to do the same. We speak life over our children every day. Words of hope and promise. Every night, I hear my husband tell Mattie, “Son, you are strong and you are handsome and you are so brave.”
Every night, I sing over my children, words of life. Words of hope.
In addition to the power of words, the power of human touch is part of the divine recipe for healing a wounded child’s heart. There is so much out their written on this subject, and though I am not focusing on that in this particular post, it needs to be mentioned. Human touch is another major key to healing.
Combine touch and words, and you have within you the power to set a child’s heart on fire with a love that with time will burn away the pain and woundedness of rejection and pain.
Whether you’re an adoptive parent or not, none of us are perfect parents. Let’s face it, our children will be hurt, if not from their past, then directly from us. We all blow it, but I am a firm believer in the simple words “I’m sorry.” No parent should ever be afraid to use those words freely with their children. You will not undermine your place of authority in their life. You will gain respect. Trust me.
“I’m sorry that I….” or “I’m sorry that you experienced….” followed by words of truth is like an infusion of medicine to the child’s soul.
Jesus in us holds the keys to healing and freedom. He bore it all, and He carries the power to heal.
So today, open your heart to listen, and open your mouth to speak words of life and hope.