The other day that question was posed. “Would you do it again, knowing what you know now?”
The answer is “Yes”.
If I were writing a social/medical summary to share my son’s “Available Adoption Situation” professionally it would read something like this:
“Bi-racial baby boy with a diagnosis of Down syndrome due in October, prenatal care limited to last trimester, drug exposure en utero. Child has a severe AV canal defect that will require multiple surgeries, child will suffer a near death illness as a new born, child will have eating issues resulting in the need for a g-tube, child will have severe pulmonary hypertension and brocho/trachial malasia that will eventually require a tracheostomy and will be hospitalized the first year of life, child will come home on a ventilator and require full time care with in home nursing support. A family saying yes to this child must be prepared for a potentially long stay at the hospital where this child will be born, and could hope at some point to have the child transferred to their home town. This child will need ongoing therapies and will require additional surgeries throughout his life.”
That is what I know now.
What I also know now can never be written in social/medical summary of any child because it is written as part of a greater story.
A story written by God Himself.
This is what I know now, the part of the story that changes everything:
This one child has filled our lives with more joy that I could ever have imagined. He has brought my husband and I closer together as a couple and his life and all of the hardships we have faced have actually strengthened our marriage. This one child has brought out the most tender, precious side of each of my children, and they are all head over heels in love with him. This one child has touched more lives than I will probably ever know with his joy, kindness and pure zest for life.
Yes,we have made sacrifices. Time, money, lack of sleep, hours upon hours upon hours in miserably uncomfortable hospital chairs, time away from each other, loneliness, the list could go on… but ultimately, it doesn’t matter.
We have gained a son, the most amazing gift in the world.
I was given three questions: Would you do it again? What is the best part of Mattie being in your life? What would you do differently?
I’ve answered two of them.
Now for last.
What would I do differently?
Not much at all. I wouldn’t change a single decision we made, and I honestly feel like we did a really good job of protecting our marriage and our family during the whole process. I feel really good about that.
If I were going to do one thing differently, I have taken better care of myself.