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I Am Beautiful

I’m not sure I have language to describe why there are tears in my eyes tonight, but I need to try. It’s no secret that deep down, my husband is a rocker. Child of the 80’s, lover of a good guitar riff, the man is a musician through and through. So when a new band came out in this decade, reflecting some of the same qualities of what he considers the “best of the best,” we all heard about it. The teens lovingly mocked him, and I teased him relentlessly about being a “groupie.”

One day a few months back, he said to me, “Trace, you need to hear this song.” Being the good wife that I am, I lovingly sat down to listen. There are many reasons, many stories untold, that caused the tears to fill my eyes in that moment.

“I stare at the girl in the mirror
t-shirt…torn up jeans,
no beauty queen.
But the way that you see me
You get underneath me
and all my defenses just fall away… fall away”

Then a few weeks ago, Emma was in our room as we were getting ready one morning. She stood at John’s computer listening to the the music on his playlist when “I Am Beautiful” by Halestorm started playing. I heard her begin to sing. I peeked around the corner to see her swaying side to side singing,

I am beautiful with you,
even in the darkest part of me.
I am beautiful with you.
Make it feel the way its supposed to be.
You’re here with me.
You show me this and I’ll believe,
I am beautiful with you ….

My heart exploded into a million pieces. My girl- broken, but healing from a past most of us could never imagine, was singing what the truth in my heart wants desperately for her to believe.

I stand,
naked before you now,
no walls,
to hide behind, so here am I.
See all of my scars.
Still here you are.
I bare my soul and I am not afraid…not afraid.
I am beautiful with you,
even in the darkest part of me.

And then she was me. For a moment she was me, and I was singing to the brokenness in my own heart.

I’ve been the strong one,
for so long but,
I was wrong.
Doesn’t make me weak if you’re needing someone.
I’m not holding back, yeah, I know what I want.
I am beautiful with you… I am beautiful with you…
You want me for myself.
You get me like no one else!
I am beautiful with you.

He gives me beauty for ashes. (Isaiah 61)

He makes all things new. (Rev 21:5)

Emma

Me

Even you….

Lyrics by Halestorm “I Am Beautiful” 

3 thoughts on “I Am Beautiful

  1. The power of music…..
    it is therapy,
    it is truth,
    it is healing,
    it is universal wellness
    and keeper of our secrets…

    Each song it’s own therapy session when connected to our spirit….

    You, continue to hold the light, and she will continue towards it….job well done you two. xoxox

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