A Birthday Gift for Derek Loux

Today would have been my brother Derek’s 39th birthday. (Forgive me for dropping the “in-law” part. I’ve always hated that little tag.)

This is the letter that I will place on his grave tonight.

I can’t even believe we are here celebrating another birthday without you. The ache in our hearts seems to just grow. The reality of the space you are no longer here to fill just seems to get deeper. I miss you so much, my brother, my friend.

This year I am incredibly sad that you were not here to met our newest son, Matthias. I hold him sometimes and think of you, knowing that you would  just gobble him to pieces. You’d be so proud of Mattie. He’s a fighter. He’s so strong and courageous. Much like your little Josiah, he’s melting hearts left and right with his killer smile and endearing little expressions. Oh how I wish you could have met him. He’s your kind of guy.

I can’t tell you how many times this year, thoughts of you and remembrances of words spoken, have spurred me on in this journey we’re now on.

You’d be so proud of your brother. He’s laid down so much for his family this year and he’s done it with joy. He’s an amazing Dad. I know if you were here, you’d be cheering him on and taking him out to check on his heart. I wish so much that you were here to do that.

And your wife. Well, you knew it all along, she’s a one of a kind treasure. You don’t need me to tell you that she’s amazing, but I’m telling you anyway. She’s walked this journey so well. Hurting deeply but loving completely, giving passionately, and serving selflessly.

I tell you things you probably already know just because I miss being able to talk to you.

I miss you. Life is just not right without you.


Because I believe that gifts are important as we celebrate birthday’s,  I would like to ask that on behalf of the entire Loux Family, you consider being part of giving Derek an incredible birthday gift today.

I don’t need to tell you that Derek was a fierce champion for justice and was deeply passionate about the church rising up for the cause of the orphan. So today when I asked the Lord to show me how we could GIVE as we celebrate Derek’s life, one family came to mind.

Amy Lucas  is a single Mom to four sons. Amy’s oldest son Jimmy (24) was born with Down syndrome and Amy’s life was changed forever. After Jimmy’s birth, Amy was inspired to become a special education teacher. She is currently a middle school special education teacher, a job that is so rewarding for her. Amy’s next son Ben is 19 and he and Jimmy are very close. When Jimmy turned 18, Amy had the desire to adopt. She had always wanted to have more children and decided now was the time. In 2005, she adopted Caleb 8(then 2 years old) from Russia. Caleb also has Down syndrome and he is the firecracker of the family. He has added so much love and fun to the family, that Amy just had to bring another little one with Ds home. In 2009, Amy adopted Elijah 4 (then 2) from Russia. Raising children with Ds is the best part of Amy’s life. They bring more joy into her life than she could ever have imagined! Even though Amy thought her family was complete, her heart ached for the orphans left behind. And then God spoke to Amy by placing another little boy on her heart, and Amy is more than excited to begin the process again to bring another son home. Although the financial piece of adoption is great, Amy has faith that God will provide.

There is currently $6000 is Ivan’s Adoption Fund. Amy still needs to raise $7500 to be complete this adoption and her dossier has already been mailed and she is waiting on a travel date.

We are asking that you mark each donation “Happy Birthday Derek Loux”- I would love to report to Renee by the end of the day that this entire $7500 was raised in celebration of Derek’s life!

The donate button on her blog with the Reece’s Rainbow symbol allows you to give tax-deductibly, knowing that every penny given will go directly to Ivan’s Adoption Fund.

Please give and help get this sweet little boy home to his family. Give $10, $50, $100, $1000, I don’t really care how much, just give!

CLICK HERE TO GIVE!! (under Ivan’s picture on this link, click the DONATE button)


7 thoughts on “A Birthday Gift for Derek Loux

  1. We would like to thank everyone in advance for giving in honor of Derek’s birthday to our precious friend Amy, towards the adoption of her beautiful Ivan from Eastern Europe! Let’s rescue one more. Wouldn’t it be awesome to make it possible today? Much love!

  2. I am so blessed that you shared your letter and in the same breathe advocated for a family dear to my heart!! Thank you. Glorifying God in grief. How precious.

  3. Tracie, Renee, John and family,

    I just don’t know how to thank you enough for sharing Derek’s birthday with us. When God called me to adopt Liam, I was so worried and afraid. The cost being the major obstacle. When I adoptd Caleb and Elijah, I did everything I could not to have ask for anyone’s help. I knew though, to adopt Liam that I would have to ask others. And it hasn’t been easy. There are days when I just sit and pray, not knowing how in the world am I ever going to accomplish this. Each time I have doubted, God has stepped in and reassured me that He was with me. I have learned that this adoption is not about me, not what I am feeing but always about the child and God’s will. I have to remind myself that even though there are times when I am discouraged, that this is never about my feelings and fears. God has shown me that it is okay to ask for help when it’s needed. But nothing could have prepared me for what your family has done today. I’m still in tears after hearing from Renee earlier when she told me what you all were about to do. I am so unworthy of this amazing gift, but once again I am told….it isn’t about me, it’s about God and Liam and Deek and what he stood for. God Bless you and your family. I look forward to the day I get to meet Derek in Heaven and be able to thank him in person. God bless you!

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