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Sleeping In (What I Used to Do on a Sunday Morning)

Lest you think there is nothing going on around here to write about, here’s a morning tid bit for you. (I’ll try to type fast while drinking my coffee and keeping an eye on the toddlers as they tear up the play room. They’ve all been up since 6AM, so they are in full force!)

On those morning when we have the rare opportunity to sleep in but can’t because the toddlers don’t seem to understand the beauty of sleeping in, we often bring those that wake up first into bed with us for an attempt at cuddle time.  This lasts until the third of the the three is up and they officially outnumber us, gang up on us, and demand their breakfast.  

There’s a sort of wish list I have on wake up order. It would go like this: Emma, Elia, and Aiden.  Emma will cuddle indefinitely and doesn’t do too much kick and punch damage. I pick her first. Elia will cuddle for a little while and if early enough will fall back to sleep if no one else is in the bed with us to distract her. AIDEN however nearly always demands breakfast instantly and is very loud about it therefore waking the others up if he happens to be first up. 

All that to say, this past Sunday morning the wake ups started bright and early.  Elia had fussed at 5:30ish and came into bed and fell back to sleep. Emma followed around 6:30 and happily cuddled, stroking my face and my hair. Aiden to our delight slept til 7ish. Elia heard him and went to his room, helped him out of bed, and invited him to join the party in mom and dad’s room. Being all cuddly as we were, John reached over the edge and pulled Aiden up in the bed between us for our 60 seconds of cuddle time before he realized there was no breakfast in bed.  That’s when the poop hit the fan, or at least the sheets!

I smelled it. Nasty Aiden poo-poo’s.  It’s the nastiest smelling poo-poo in the world- remember it’s nasty enough to grow some funky parasites!  

I say, “Aiden pooped.” I yawn, stretch and think about getting the changing supplies.

Aiden rolls over to hug Papa….such a sweet snuggly boy. 

I look over to admire the sweetness, only to see a pile of poo on our bed and the rest up the backside of the boy!

I say, “Aaaaaaaaghhhhhhh” (or something like that), “HE POOPED, IT’S EVERYWHERE”

To which John totally FREEZES!!!!!! I’m not kidding, I have never in my life seen someone freeze up so quickly in the line of duty. Typically poop and vomit disasters result in complete shut down of my man’s ability to reason. I’m ok with this. I know it’s going to happen. I thoroughly expect to have to slip into commando gear and start barking out commands.

So I hold Aiden very still and begin:

“John, get out of bed.”

“John pick Aiden up under his arm pits and hold him out in front of you.”

I quickly grab towel, diaper, wipes. 

“John stand Aiden on the towel.”

I wipe all the sqwooshy out poo before de-robing the boy.

“John lay him down on the towel.”

“John go get a Walmart bag.”   

You get the picture. We finished cleaning up the nasty poo, cuddle time is OVER, and breakfast begins.  

As I type this last sentence Aiden has come pointed to his diaper and said, “Poop.”  I smell the nasties so this post is officially over. Happy Day to you.

Post Poop Clean Up and Bathe All Three Toddlers Because It’s Easier than Bathing One Addendum: Emma has her appointment with the Cardiologist this morning to address the Cardiopathy diagnosis from the orphanage MD.  We are praying for a good report! 

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9 thoughts on “Sleeping In (What I Used to Do on a Sunday Morning)

  1. ROFL

    I mean really, how can a person NOT laugh? But really, I’m laughing WITH you, not at you. 😉 I have to say though, “Freezing” is better than “gagging, and lunging for the bathroom” in an attempt to completely avoid the problem at hand, which is what my ex used to do. (though he did that, it was not the cause of our divorce, though I did think about using that reason a couple of times in the midst of a blowout diaper. The same thing happened if one of our 5 kids vomitted. I tried the escape tactic once, and he beat me to the bathroom with the lock on it.)

  2. Ahhhh poop. And I read this while eating breakfast. YUM! (ok it’s almost 1 PM. which probably means I should call it lunch)

  3. I’m actually not laughing at this one,but I definitely feel for you. Deeply. If it had been me, I might have even cried a little, or at least whimpered.

  4. Uhhh, yeah.
    That sounds about right.
    Monday morning, I got Matthew up out of bed. He was so happy to see me and did his happy dance. I didn’t turn on the light because Eli was still asleep and I can’t get 3 down the stairs at the same time so I thought I’ll just get Micah and Matthew in the dark…
    So I picked up Micah then got Matthew. I noticed he had taken off his pajama pants which is a little weird and then I felt it. Then I smelt it. Ugh… Vomit and diarrhea. Obviously MANY hours old. I rolled up all the bedding and sent it down with one of the other kids to the laundry room where she promptly let it unfold in the middle of the kitchen floor where all the chunks proceeded to spill out. Made me really ready for breakfast.

    So…good posts today. You are so right that it’s not easy and that the love seems to come and go a little bit. At least we don’t feel like we’re babysitting the guys like we did in Ukraine. They are definitely our sons and we’re working on the rest of the emotions…

  5. Ha! We can so relate! This is hillarious isn’t it?! Most of the time we can find some sense of humor in it but it’s funnier hearing about it when you’re the one cleaning up the poop and not us!
    You gotta love our lives!

  6. That was HILARIOUS! And he’s still lovey even with squishy poop up his back. I don’t think I would be.

    I can’t wait for my own poop stories 🙂 YAY! hehe….

    Melissa
    praying Liza home from Ukraine

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